GRACE

GRACE

since ages, we have been trying to avoid friction, tension, stress, conflict, dilemma, pain and tears. Status quo has always made us feel safe, but as it is said, dead bodies are the safest.

Benjamin Franklin said, “Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety”. The eternal struggle to reach the highest state of liberty enriches life, and still, we are bound by the chains of our attachment to petty happiness, personal comfort and fear of change.

I know, salvation lies in work and in spite of this knowledge, all the tensions and pressures associated with my profession bother me, and which i will have to face again very soon. Past one year of my life is called “pure happiness”. I am enjoying Aadvik’s innocent company completely. He is six months now and my maternity leave just ended. The moments with my baby are so pure and precious that i wish to keep them separate from all the ugliness of real world. But alas..i know, this separation is a dream that can never come true.

I am a cop for almost nine years. The pressure is tremendous in my job. The gap between expectations and reality never gives you complete satisfaction. I certainly don't look forward to the moments, days and sometimes months shadowed by moral dilemmas and contrary pressures from all the sides. But I know, only the painful path will lead me to my destiny, the destiny i have chosen for myself because when I look back, all my proud memories belong to the time when I was not comfortable but stressed, when i could hardly find time to eat or sleep. 

Policing in India, in present times is a demanding job. The 24/7 news channels and newspapers literally survive on crime stories. The media projections are guiding political bosses to make scapegoats of officers. Sometimes even the expectations of judiciary are shaped by popular, common man’s expectations, at the cost of legality of such expectations. And at times, they are trapped so much into legality, that justice is the casualty.

The collective conscience of our society is probably at all time low. We are happy when the powerful becomes powerless. The lack of power with individuals is compelling them to get the feel of it in wrong ways and at wrong places.Riots, gang rapes, lynching by mob are cruel attempts at feeling powerful. The expectations of people for instant justice sometimes instigate police to adopt extra legal means of justice. This unwarranted enthusiasm for providing instant justice, turns the individual cop into Robin hood, but hinders the much needed reforms in the Criminal justice system.

The stereotypes associated with police obstruct neutral and rational policing. The judiciary, media and people make you a hero if you book someone powerful from ruling dispensation. They make you a villain if you book someone from opposition. On the contrary, the politicians and certain senior bureaucrats are pleased if your actions benefit them politically, and their opposition is belittled. You are made to pay a heavy price with side postings, inquiries and  other ways of harassment, if your actions touch any of them. So you are doomed in all the circumstances. So why not follow a just path? At least it keeps your conscience clear and you can be fearless.                        

W. E. Henley says,

    “In the fell clutch of circumstance, I have not winced, nor cried aloud; 
                                         Under the bludgeoning of chance, My head is bloody, but unbowed.”

I wonder, Why do our values change with situations? Do we need to sacrifice values in search of happiness?


Each individual answers these questions in unique way. Some can’t bear the moral dilemma and break and commit suicide. Others run away from the battle ground. Some compromise their values, and some just stand their ground and wait for the storm to pass. Finally there are those who stick to their values and give a strong fight without losing grace. They pay heavily for it with their blood, sweat and tears. But its worth it.


This struggle defines life.The decisions taken during the situations of such moral dilemmas define us. Every micro second of such testing time is a burden to soul. If faced gracefully, the moments result in pride for oneself and increases the self worth. What more one can ask for? 

Happiness is monotonous. Struggle is beautiful. Achievement is a death whereas striving to achieve is life. The purpose of life will be lost if there is no conflict or struggle. Struggle doesn't assure happiness or peace of mind, but it certainly assures an enriching experience, and I look forward to such enriching life. Conflicts, struggle and difficulties provide us opportunities that the status quo can never dream of. 


I am sure, Nelson Mandela’s belief in the strength of difficulties to strengthen him, and enrich his life might have kept him sane and positive during those painful 27 years behind bars. Mandela’s greatness is attractive in the context of those 27 years spent in prison with grace, and that too without losing hope. In the absence of those painful 27 years, the world would have never known the extraordinary human being, lovingly called “Madiba”.  Too much of focus on the destination spoils the beauty of the journey. Enjoying every moment of the journey is more important. A life lived with integrity and convictions is more important than a happy life.


Recently I was watching “Cool Runnings”, a film loosely based on the true story of the Jamaica’s National Bobsleigh Team’s debut in the 1988 winter Olympics in Canada. The team was mocked by everyone. As Jamaica is a hot country, it was unknown in the sport circle of Bobsleigh, a winter sport played on iced tracks. The team meets an accident in the finals and the sled crashes. The Jamaicans carry their sled on their shoulders to the finish line. The feeling of pride overwhelms every spectator irrespective of nationality. I could hardly breathe during the scene. Few defeats become greater than victories because of the grace of the human beings involved. I think, such are the moments which give meaning to our existence. 


Not giving up, burning midnight oil for fulfilment of dreams, believing when nobody believes and most of all, doing all this with grace makes life extraordinary. The prayer is only for such grace when times are the toughest.


Again I can’t resist the temptation to quote W. E. Henley,

"Beyond this place of wrath and tears, Looms but the horror of the shade;
And yet the menace of the years finds, and shall find, me unafraid".

DON’T WANT TO ‘HAVE IT ALL..!!’

            It was a beautiful evening. I was reading “Einstein- The Life and Times”, by Ronald W. Clark. I had all I needed… an armchair, a book and a cup of coffee. It was the moment I received a message from one of my friends and I lost my peace.

What was the message? 

     It was an emotional piece about the separation of a husband and a wife. After separation, the husband decides to sell the home which possessed the memories of their life together. His wife’s father buys it and handover the key to the husband back,with an advice;

          

“You are an instinctive decision maker.You married my daughter and now you are selling this house without much thought. Empty house speaks louder. If you ever regret your decision, come and get her, otherwise you can return the keys.” 

     

The husband starts spending some evenings in the empty house. Slowly the emptiness fills him. He looks at the hanging calendar on the wall, wherein she has noted the chores to be done like dates for different bill payments, milkman’s bill, maid’s payment, dates of pest control, date for getting gas cylinder, dates for groceries, details of laundry bills etc. And suddenly he realises that he never shared any of all this burden; and she had single handedly shouldered all this responsibility without ever mentioning it. The shadow of repentance gets heavy. He is saddened for the lost glory of a flower grieving her absence and at last they are united.

            The message really disturbed me; because the same morning I had also read an article by a mother who quit her job for doing justice to her new role as a mother. She had specifically mentioned how she wanted to cook great food for her child and she imagined how after eating, her baby would call her ‘the best mom in the world’ with a peck on her cheek. She wanted to always be there for her husband when he returned home. It was all fine. I felt respect for her choices but the sad part was she also had given tips based on her experiences to cope with the depression that might descend on a woman who leaves behind her career. And also, a part of her identity.

            

Usually I am not a person with self doubt but some unknown chord inside the brain of an expectant mother was touched within me.

         

I had to speak about it. I asked my husband, ”Will you miss me if I'm gone? Because I don't do any household chores, I don’t cook. Why would you ever notice my absence?”

        

He was surprised at my question. Moreover he was appalled and asked how could I imagine such trivialities to matter in our relationship. He thought, I knew what we meant for each other. He repeated what he had told me a thousand times, “I love you for what you are and don’t want you to fit in any stereotype.” Then we spoke about the core values of a human being and how we respected each other for them. I calmed down. But, I had to think !

  How do I want to be remembered or missed by my loved ones?

              I am an educated and working woman. I always wanted to create my own identity. I never dreamt of marrying a prince charming and living happily ever after, just beside him. I never accepted the securities that came at the cost of my freedom. Though it is a small feat, it is achieved with my own efforts. It is not, and was never meant to be an end in itself. If it doesn’t widen my horizons and provide me new opportunities or new experiences, it must be utterly unthoughtful of me to achieve it in the first place.

Here is what I want.

              

I want my child to know me as a  strong, determined, independent woman who is always there to help her every time she falls, who is quiet capable of doing it physically and psychologically, who is always there for her no matter what she does, who is the person she can rely upon, who knows her self worth and who prioritises herself without guilt, who doesn’t like to repent in life and who lives life every moment and chooses her own path.

My dear husband! I certainly don’t wish to wait back at home and provide a returning place to him at the cost of living my life. I will certainly do that but in a different way. We had written our own vows in our marriage and promised each other to build a place called home together. It would not be just a physical space but a mental space, which would provide strength to get out of comfort zone and fly away in unknown territories, with the belief in heart that when you return, there is one person whose heart is a resting place no matter how the world changes.To have such beauty in life,you need to live beautifully.

Indra Nooyi, the Pepsico CEO says, “I don’t think women can have it all. I just don’t think so. We pretend we have it all. We pretend we can have it all…We plan our lives meticulously so we can be decent parents. But if you ask our daughters, I’m not sure they will say that I’ve been a good mom. I’m not sure. And I try all kinds of coping mechanisms…stay at home mothering was a full time job. Being a CEO for a company is three full time jobs rolled into one. How can you do justice to all? You can’t.”

Exactly! We can’t do justice to all. What worries me, is ‘wanting it all’. Why are we creating this need? Why are we trapped in a guilt conscience? If we think of it, even a man can not ‘have it all’ ( If a man does justice to his job, he is left with lesser time with the child whereas a stay at home mother enjoys the bliss of motherhood twenty four by seven ). But, there is no burden of ‘having it all’ on a man and therefore, no guilt for not having it! 

Why can’t a woman choose WHAT SHE WANTS? Why has the society burdened her with the concepts of ideal wife and ideal mother? Even when it comes to the success at workplace, it is measured through the lens of how well she balances and performs her duties as an ideal wife and an ideal mother at home. No solution will lead us to ‘have it all’. And, that is the reason, we need to decide what we want and be happy with our choices. We need to relook into our concepts of virtues. A streak of rebellion for following the right path, no matter how lonely you are, demanding and getting what you deserve, standing up against injustice are the virtues that need to be nurtured, not smothered.

Recently one detergent advertisement has been appreciated by many including Facebook’s Sheryl Sandberg ( It is worth watching ). The father repents for not setting a right example for his daughter so that she could expect right things from her husband. It leads me to think that unwarranted patience may give authenticity to wrong behaviour. 

When I think of my career, I don’t want my daughter to think that ‘sacrifice' is the only virtue. I want her to know that personal happiness is important if you want to remain sane and truly become a good human being. At the same time, I want her to remember that happiness cannot be an end in itself and sacrifice cannot be a virtue on its own. I love my work and I am in love with my image of myself working hard, burning midnight oil literally and being known by my work.I want my work to be a mirror of me and I want my daughter to love me for that.

In the process, I hope to inculcate some very important values in my daughter, more important than sacrifice. And I hope, with all the optimism in the world that probably someday, she will understand that it was ok if her mom was not an expert cook and it was perfectly fine if she could not make it to the parents meeting because of some important work. She would probably know that the passion with which her mom worked, enriched her own life as well. She would probably have the wisdom not to judge her mom with the trivial words like ‘good’ or ‘bad’. And I certainly hope that she would probably appreciate, that her mom’s freedom to choose how to live, free from social expectations and set norms, in some way led to her existence in a slightly better world. She would be the citizen of that world where it will not be necessary to ‘Have it ALL’.

The 'Nuclear' God

                                                   

                  The end of World War 2, with the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki stunned the human conscience. The ability of mass destruction gained by the superpowers gave whole new dimension to the idea of violence. 

                 I am reading THE COLD WAR by John Lewis Gaddis and I cannot stop myself from identifying with the terror generated by atomic bombs. But my terror is at the sight of violence by ISIS, the beef ban in different states of India, the idea of Love Jihad and the Dadri incidence near our capital, Delhi. I am terrified by the intolerant and irresponsible statements and behaviour of people who are in responsible positions. I am terrified when a few good people have to return their awards for the intolerance of majority. I am terrified by the murders of rationalists and thus the consequent end of rationalism in India.

                 The theory of basic human inclination for violence paired with this newly acquired nuclear weapon’s ability of destruction gave nightmares to the whole generations. But the wisdom of Prussian strategist Carl von Clausewitz prevailed. He warned that states resorting to unlimited violence could be consumed by it.

                 The shock of Hiroshima and Nagasaki compelled human beings to go against their basic inclination for violence. It is a paradox that the result of Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombings was the future avoidance of wars. Still the weapons were upgraded from nuclear to hydrogen bombs with increased capability for destruction. These weapons destroyed targets without any discrimination. In hindsight, even the most destructive weapons known to humans had this positive quality of treating everyone equally and thereby terrifying everyone equally.

                  Whereas Religion as interpreted and spread by the fundamentalists is aiming at specific pin pointed destruction of targets i.e. Infidels, a feature not available even in nuclear bombs. Violence generated in the name of religion has ability to discriminate. Moreover, access to this weapon called religion is unlike the limited access to nuclear bombs.

                  Even during cold war, in between the maddening contest for possessing nuclear arsenal, the wisdom of world leaders to use these weapons only as a deterrent prevailed. President Harry S. Truman, the only individual in the history of mankind who ever ordered the use of nuclear weapons said,” machines are ahead of morals by some centuries.” This thought of Truman compels me to think about religion and what it is doing to our morals. As long as we are deriving our morality from religion, there is no hope for humanity.

                 Today the religions are bigger threat to humanity than the nuclear weapons. What ISIS is doing to the world is worse than what nuclear bombs did to Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

                 Back home, the minds whose most important source of information is social media are incapable of maintaining any restraint. On the contrary rationality and wisdom are enemies of this new weapon called religion. The recent Dadri incidence in India and the beef eating controversy bears testimony to it. The increasing intolerance and the contest between religions for such intolerance is a real threat to our existence and our future.

                  As the writer points out, nuclear weapons withstood the Clausewitzian standard that military operations must not destroy what they are meant to defend. Can any religion withstand this standard today? The new low ISIS has reached with its barbarity can do the same to religions that Hiroshima and Nagasaki did to nuclear bombs. The terrifying possibilities were exposed and that prohibited its use in future. 

                 I am not talking about being atheist or agnostic. We can just keep our religions to ourselves. It can remain a very intimate, private affair and guide us personally than mindlessly making us a part of herd and providing us with some illogical logic to kill our fellow human being. 

                 The universality of potential destruction by nuclear weapons gave hope for a peaceful future. Today, the fundamentalists are using their weapon discriminately. So is there any hope for restraint and peace? My personal belief is, If we continue thinking on religious lines, NO!

                 At first our God was in every live and dead on the earth. Our God resided even in our enemies. Then came the idea of My God vs. Your God. Subsequently My God became superior to Your God. Violence became inevitable at this point. Everyone opposing My God became my enemy. Then everyone not following My God the way I demand was supposed to die. In this process we have reduced our God from Universal to Nuclear. Alas! This Nuclear God is incompetent to make me a better human being.

                 As long as we don't accept the potential of this weapon called religion to dehumanise the humans, there is little hope for humanity. Let our morality rely on humanity, not religion. The end of world civilisations by nuclear bombs could be avoided because the wisdom of a few good men prevailed. 

                 We are at the crossroads again. Our morals have failed to catch up with technology. We can't afford to be defeated. Humanity needs to rise against all religions with all its might.

THE PUNCHING BAG

                            

                                                               THE PUNCHING BAG

                             Today in India, Police is the favorite punching bag for everyone for everything that goes wrong in society. Recently after clashes between people and police in Gujarat, one message was making rounds on social media. It is a dialogue from one of the Bollywood movies. It says every society gets the police, it deserves. This reminded me of an incidence.

                             Recently i had gone to Europe with my husband. We spent a fortnight in London. we had read so much about the tube and we really loved traveling by it. We started following the trends on Twitter and also were reading newspapers.  There was underground strike on 8^th and 9^th July, 2015. There was lot of talk and discussion going on about its impact, its righteousness and preparations to handle the consequences. At one point we thought they were overreacting to a mere 24 hour strike. More was to come my way.

                              We decided to be on road to experience it firsthand. As we started following the tweets, we came across links for maps of alternate bus routes for the day. The local administration had not only started additional buses but was prompt in informing about it in every possible way. Even the strikers were apologizing for the inconvenience caused. Signage were put at bus stops asking people to bear with bus drivers and cooperate as they were working extra hours and bus drivers were welcoming passengers with a smile. It was all perfectly orchestrated.

                              We decided to go for lunch on Thames and boarded a bus for Oxford circle. It was overcrowded as expected. We both were busy reading the tweets and marveling at the positive involvement of citizens and the healthy tone of discussions. Suddenly the bus came to a standstill at a stop. When it did not move for a long time, we went down to see what happened.

                              There were other passengers surrounding a person and requesting him to get down. What I learn t was the person was drunk and driver was going by the rule book. He told the passengers to board another bus (which was to arrive in 10 min.) He would not drive with the drunkard on board. Passengers were trapped because every bus was already overcrowded. Even in that situation, they knew, they could not argue with the driver because he was doing exactly what he was supposed to do. They were also not threatening the drunkard but only requesting him to get down. One of the ladies who was getting late for work also proposed to pay him the bus fare he had paid. I was stunned by the order and civility of people. The final shock was when the drunkard gave his reason for not getting down in spite of so many requests. He simply said, “now that the driver has already called the cops, I have to wait.” Within few minutes two smartly dressed and well built cops arrived. They requested with a smile to the drunkard ‘gentleman’ to get down. The gentleman got down without uttering a word and our bus started. We both saw the cops talking very softly to the man. They were smiling.

                              I couldn’t stop imagining and reconstructing  in my mind the whole situation back in India and the consequent responses. 

                               First and foremost, the driver wouldn’t care for the rules. He would not get involved with a ‘bad guy’ by asking him to get down. If by any chance he asks, he would definitely not be polite. Most probably, he would physically assault him and throw him out.

                                The passengers who are getting late because of this one drunkard will beat him black and blue and push him out of bus. They would certainly not respect the person who is vulnerable.

The drunkard himself will run away if he comes to know that cops have been called.

                                The cops would come. If they are honest and rule abiding, they will register an offence against the drunkard, against the driver and passengers for rioting and assault. They will be hated by one and all for doing this. Before even reaching the police station, they will start getting phone calls for not registering the FIR, if that is inevitable then for at least not booking the influential passengers. If that is already done, then calls will follow to release them immediately. If that doesn’t work out, then requests will follow for providing facilities in lock up. The cops will be thought of as personal enemies for doing this lawful duty. The vengeance will be sought. When right opportunity shows up in future (as provided by recent agitation), they will be beaten taking advantage of the safety provided by the anonymity of the crowd. 

                                In the second scenario, if the cops are dishonest and with least concern for law, they will try for burking the cognizable offence that has come to their knowledge. In their enthusiasm to give instant justice and to suppress their own guilt, they would beat the drunkard. Our fellow passengers would appreciate them for doing so. (The dishonest cops will also make some money from the drunkard) This appreciation will compel the policemen to repeat the same behavior. In the process nobody will be bothered to talk about the assault by passengers and driver, the injury caused to the body of the drunkard and to his self respect.

                              This short term, quick justice won’t do any good to the image of cops or to the passengers with utter disregard for the law of the land. The main evil, as thought of by this society, the drunkard will never be rehabilitated as he will also lose his faith in any system. 

                              Whatever the cops do, in both the above scenarios, they will be hated. The problem is not just with the cops but equally with our society’s mentality to bypass the law. We don’t want to take responsibility for our behavior. We find safety in anonymity of the crowd. The demons within us surface when we are part of a crowd. We believe in preaching a path, we don’t have ability to walk on. We don’t introspect. We don’t think. We don’t analyze. We only expect others to play their part while we have utter disregard for our part. We expect the behavior of the London Police to deal with the barbarity of the brutal crowd without mind. Is it not too much to expect?

Yes, society gets the cops it deserves.   

THE MORAL RAPE.

                   What is worth preserving? There are numerous philosophies about being “sthitapragya”, about importance of “aparigraha”, about sacrifice on the way of “moksha”, but all these philosophies are basically religious, spiritual and ways to liberate soul from body. But I don’t find some way to liberate both our soul and body from others. Is it because we become selfish when we try to liberate it from others? Is such selfishness not a virtue? Is being liberated and independent a threat to the concept of society. The society has such impact on our minds that we have started feeling guilty for not adhering to the set norms. We forget that it takes strength to let go off anything that chains our spirit.

                   One day a familiar face appeared in my office. I had met this lady in some social function. I had gone there as a guest. This time the lady had come as an applicant. The lady was good looking. From her style of wearing saree one could easily guess her caste. She belonged to a business community. Even without asking, she mentioned her caste. It was with great pride she mentioned that usually women are treated well in that particular caste. She took a promise from me about her anonymity. I got annoyed. I thought I was a police officer and not a counselor. But anyways assured her that she need not worry about her anonymity and the secrecy of the information she might share with me. Her problem was her husband. He was HIV positive and was raping her every day without any protection. There was complete disgust on her face. She shuddered even at the memory of the last intercourse. He wanted to infect her and had become violent recently. He had a grudge against the world. His insecurity had conquered all his senses. She had only one son who hated both his mother and father equally. The father with the vicious behavior he had acquired recently was financing his son to go to prostitutes in Mumbai. Whenever this lady objected, both father and son beat her black and blue. All the neighbors could witness the drama, but because it was a family affair, no one wanted to disturb the privacy of this heinous crime.

                  
                I asked the lady about her parents or other close relatives. She started crying. She said such kind of incidences were very rare in her community. Her parents were financially not sound. Her brother and sister in law told her that she is no more their responsibility after her marriage. They had their own set of problems. There were also limitations to the narration, her mind allowed her, of the trauma she was facing day in and day out. Based on my professional experience, I enquired whether she wanted to continue in the present relation or get out of it. She was just shocked by my question. She said she was more than sure, about this one thing…her hatred for her husband and her urge to go away from all this. In fact she wanted to commit suicide to end all the problems and also to save herself and her family from “badnaami”. But thankfully she also thought it was a sin to commit suicide.

                
               The mental condition of this lady was awfully bad. I could not understand whether she was smiling or crying. I told her she could cry freely in my office. I offered her a glass of water. Her answer disturbs me till date. “Madam,hamare yahan aisi baatein kisiko nahi batate.samaaj me naam kharab hota hai aur badnami hoti hai.”(Madam, we don’t tell such things openly in our society. It brings bad name to the family). I didn’t know what to say. I asked her about her educational qualification. She was a graduate. I tried to convince her to register FIR in the women’s police station. She was confused. I told her to take her own time, gave her my mobile no. in case she decides to take some action. She still looked confused. The next big question, disturbing her was the expenses she would need to incur for the legal remedy. It was a genuine problem considering the long period between registration of FIR and court’s final judgment. I didn’t want to discourage her, considering her grave problem. I called one lady advocate, who had met me recently and who was felicitated publically for providing free legal aid to women in distress. I requested her to help this woman. She readily asked me to send her to her office the next day. I gave the contact number and the address of the advocate to this lady. I felt relieved. I was proud of my actions.

               

                      Next day, this woman called me. For a moment, I thought, she might have gathered her strength by now. I thought, she was calling to thank me. Alas, things are not so simple. The advocate told her that she would give some concession in her fees. I was aghast. This advocate was publically felicitated for the deeds she never did. For the moment, I told this lady to at least stay in touch with the women police station, so that, if her husband or son beats her again, police can immediately take action. In the meantime, I contacted the Government Pleader. I told him about the problem. He immediately gave me contact number of his advocate niece. He also promised that she won’t charge anything, as she had just started her career. I spoke to the advocate. She sounded keen on helping this needy woman. I told the lady, to go and meet this advocate next day. Unfortunately, on the same day, her husband raped and beat her. She ran to police for help. I instructed my officer to immediately register FIR and arrest this guy. Within some time, my officer called me from police station. The husband was brought to police station immediately. But now, this lady was not ready to give the FIR. All her morals were advising her not to go against her husband. She herself started crying. When I spoke to her, she just wanted police, to counsel her husband not to beat her. I inquired, how she would avoid the forceful intercourse, she was subjected to, everyday. She said, it was her FATE. My heart was weeping. I told her, she didn’t need to go through this entire trauma. I told her about the “Nari Sanrakshan Griha”(women safety centre), run by government, for women and, she could stay there. She was a graduate and she could any day sustain herself. But she could not gather the courage. I tried to convince her, about the need to get out of this hell and that she could not live in such situation for long. She was silent.

                           The counseling was just not of any use, for the man who had turned violent, in the face of death. She called me once but couldn’t speak, just wept. As my profession has taught me, I insisted again to take the legal course. I tried to convince her, that the process would definitely be a cake walk, compared to her present pain. Her answer was “madam,samaaj me merihi badnaami hogi.jaisa bhi hai,HUSBAND hai.”(Madam, only I will be blamed by society. However he is, he is HUSBAND.)

                       
                            Are some institutions so pious, that no matter what, they should not be touched? Was her marriage worth saving? Was her life so worthless? I believe, she could change her destiny, if only, she could gather some courage. I remember this lady coming to me in the initial days with a file. It had local newspaper cuttings, referring me with my photographs. According to her, she was inspired by courageous women. Truly speaking, I felt flattered then. Now, I just wish, she could gather some courage to fight for her own life, for her own sake. Virtues, which we know are virtues, are as good as vices, if we don’t imbibe them in our lives, for some positive change.

                      We need to change the concepts of virtues. We need to remember, that one size doesn’t fit all. Will we ever be able to stop being hypocrites? Will we ever liberate our souls, from unseen chains of the concepts of morality, taught to us since childhood, without any reasoning?

                      Rather than saving the dead relations, isn’t it worth to fight till death? So that, one’s soul and spirit are not killed.

 - Shobha.