Loud and Clear

Loud and clear

"Offred" stands for 'of Fred' and "Ofglen" is 'of Glen'.
This is the way handmaids are named in the Margaret Atwood's "Handmaid's Tale." The book is categorised as a speculative fiction. It is a dystopian novel. The secondary and inferior status granted to women in subtle ways in our society is made evident in it. The fertility of a woman decides her social status. Birth control and abortion is illegal and the woman and her body is property of the father, husband or the male guardian.Women are neither allowed to read nor allowed to work. Basically, they are not supposed to think and they can never dream to be independent.All intelligent and free spirited women are left with no choice but to be "Jezebels", that is prostitutes. Handmaids are the women used  solely for the purpose of reproduction for the high ranking commanders whose wives are infertile. (the belief is that men can never be infertile.)

I think it is wrong to call it a "speculative fiction" because the secondary and the inferior status of women described in the novel is the reality of our social mindset even today. Just visit any social media and read the comments section under the topics such as virginity, marital rape, working women, right to abort etc.It will make you feel like a slave if you are a woman.

I am an IPS officer in India. I was an IPS officer for seven years before my marriage. I cannot think of my identity separate from my name. I have been using my maiden name for all the purposes. I have made it a point to not remain silent when someone calls me "Mrs. Shejul ". But alas! Most educated people find it quiet  normal to introduce a woman as Mrs.so and so. Isn't it the same as "Offred" and "Ofglen"? Where is the independent identity of the person standing before you. The person is not an attachment to another person. This has happened with me in the form of name on the invitation cards as "Mr.and Mrs. Shejul" and I have made it a point to not to attend such functions and convey the reason for it. The invitations came not from some uneducated people but from Navy's highly educated and civilised high ranking officials. They gave me the explanation that this is the way they have been doing it since they remember and no one objected to it. Yes,I certainly object. My name is an integral part of my identity. I won't allow anyone to strip me off it. I insist on being called by my maiden name. Is it "stretching it too far"?

I get an invitation for an event in the campus of a paramilitary organisation. The commandant in charge is junior to me in rank. We both being in uniform service, the form of greeting between us is saluting. When my husband and me get down from our vehicle, he gets a salute and I get a hand folded "Namaste". In another instance, one of our juniors visits us at home. My husband and me both are batch mates and senior to him. My husband is greeted with a crisp salute and I get a "Namaste".  Salute is absolutely not an important issue here, but the discrimination certainly is. What should I do? Not make a fuss of a "small issue" or raise my voice every time. I prefer the second option.

Just a few days back I went for a social event. My parents accompanied me. The organisers wanted to welcome my parents. When I heard the announcement, my father was introduced with his full name and my mother was introduced just as my mother. What about her other identities and most importantly, her name? Why do I have to point it out every time, everywhere and everyday? It is so ingrained in our minds that we have forgotten ourselves.

A few days back all the senior officers and their families gathered for an event. I am always confused whether to be with the officers who are almost all men or with the wives. I preferred being with the wives so that I could hear something apart from work and anyways I keep meeting officers during my work. I was amazed at the way the ladies introduced themselves. The Colonel's wife called herself "Mrs.Colonel" and the captain's wife called herself "Mrs. Captain" and so on. I kept smiling and I didn't know what I was smiling at. (The designations I have used here are only for illustration purpose.)

One of my Police Inspectors retired recently and we gave him a farewell. I asked him about his children and he said he had two sons and a daughter. The next thing I asked was what do they do and he said the elder son is an engineer working with a corporate company, the younger son is a chartered accountant and the daughter is "married". The daughter who was present interrupted and said she used to work with a company before marriage and because of the responsibilities of child she was compelled to take a break. She also added in the same breath how boring and frustrating it was to stay at home all the time and how much she was looking forward to working again. I loved the welcome interruption and the spirit of standing up for self. Being married can't be the end of our identities.

I certainly know that in all the incidents I have mentioned, the secondary or inferior treatment doesn't come out of chauvinism. Most of the men and quiet a few women may not be even noticing the discrimination. But exactly that is the point to be worried about. Identifying and raising the issues is the first step towards an equal world.

It is heartening to see the new glass ceilings being broken by women everyday. Motherhood adds to the strength and beauty of Serena Williams but it cannot and does not define her. In 1990, Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto had to travel incognito to hospital, undergo a caesarean to deliver a baby and return to her job the very next day to silence the chauvinist male in the opposition who questioned her ability to run the country while being pregnant.It is sad that even in 21st century, the issue of motherhood is raised when the subject matter is the capabilities of Theresa May as a Prime Minister. She is thought of as a lesser woman for not being a mother. We need to assert that we are much more than our fertile wombs. Successful women in different fields improve the overall picture of gender equations but equality is a distant dream even today.

From simple remarks like "even a woman can do it", "crying like a woman", "fighting like saas-bahu", "she is better than most of the men" to actions like sitting in a religious ceremony and performing the rites by touching husband's hand, everything is a gender biased act. If we remain silent in these "small issues", we will lose our voice when it will come to the larger ones. Our silence has the ability to transform Margaret Atwood's "Handmaid's Tale" in reality. Let's speak loud and clear.