GRACE
since ages, we have been trying to avoid friction, tension, stress, conflict, dilemma, pain and tears. Status quo has always made us feel safe, but as it is said, dead bodies are the safest.
I know, salvation lies in work and in spite of this knowledge, all the tensions and pressures associated with my profession bother me, and which i will have to face again very soon. Past one year of my life is called “pure happiness”. I am enjoying Aadvik’s innocent company completely. He is six months now and my maternity leave just ended. The moments with my baby are so pure and precious that i wish to keep them separate from all the ugliness of real world. But alas..i know, this separation is a dream that can never come true.
I am a cop for almost nine years. The pressure is tremendous in my job. The gap between expectations and reality never gives you complete satisfaction. I certainly don't look forward to the moments, days and sometimes months shadowed by moral dilemmas and contrary pressures from all the sides. But I know, only the painful path will lead me to my destiny, the destiny i have chosen for myself because when I look back, all my proud memories belong to the time when I was not comfortable but stressed, when i could hardly find time to eat or sleep.
Policing in India, in present times is a demanding job. The 24/7 news channels and newspapers literally survive on crime stories. The media projections are guiding political bosses to make scapegoats of officers. Sometimes even the expectations of judiciary are shaped by popular, common man’s expectations, at the cost of legality of such expectations. And at times, they are trapped so much into legality, that justice is the casualty.
The collective conscience of our society is probably at all time low. We are happy when the powerful becomes powerless. The lack of power with individuals is compelling them to get the feel of it in wrong ways and at wrong places.Riots, gang rapes, lynching by mob are cruel attempts at feeling powerful. The expectations of people for instant justice sometimes instigate police to adopt extra legal means of justice. This unwarranted enthusiasm for providing instant justice, turns the individual cop into Robin hood, but hinders the much needed reforms in the Criminal justice system.
The stereotypes associated with police obstruct neutral and rational policing. The judiciary, media and people make you a hero if you book someone powerful from ruling dispensation. They make you a villain if you book someone from opposition. On the contrary, the politicians and certain senior bureaucrats are pleased if your actions benefit them politically, and their opposition is belittled. You are made to pay a heavy price with side postings, inquiries and other ways of harassment, if your actions touch any of them. So you are doomed in all the circumstances. So why not follow a just path? At least it keeps your conscience clear and you can be fearless.
W. E. Henley says,
“In the fell clutch of circumstance, I have not winced, nor cried aloud;
Under the bludgeoning of chance, My head is bloody, but unbowed.”
I wonder, Why do our values change with situations? Do we need to sacrifice values in search of happiness?
Each individual answers these questions in unique way. Some can’t bear the moral dilemma and break and commit suicide. Others run away from the battle ground. Some compromise their values, and some just stand their ground and wait for the storm to pass. Finally there are those who stick to their values and give a strong fight without losing grace. They pay heavily for it with their blood, sweat and tears. But its worth it.
This struggle defines life.The decisions taken during the situations of such moral dilemmas define us. Every micro second of such testing time is a burden to soul. If faced gracefully, the moments result in pride for oneself and increases the self worth. What more one can ask for?
Happiness is monotonous. Struggle is beautiful. Achievement is a death whereas striving to achieve is life. The purpose of life will be lost if there is no conflict or struggle. Struggle doesn't assure happiness or peace of mind, but it certainly assures an enriching experience, and I look forward to such enriching life. Conflicts, struggle and difficulties provide us opportunities that the status quo can never dream of.
I am sure, Nelson Mandela’s belief in the strength of difficulties to strengthen him, and enrich his life might have kept him sane and positive during those painful 27 years behind bars. Mandela’s greatness is attractive in the context of those 27 years spent in prison with grace, and that too without losing hope. In the absence of those painful 27 years, the world would have never known the extraordinary human being, lovingly called “Madiba”. Too much of focus on the destination spoils the beauty of the journey. Enjoying every moment of the journey is more important. A life lived with integrity and convictions is more important than a happy life.
Recently I was watching “Cool Runnings”, a film loosely based on the true story of the Jamaica’s National Bobsleigh Team’s debut in the 1988 winter Olympics in Canada. The team was mocked by everyone. As Jamaica is a hot country, it was unknown in the sport circle of Bobsleigh, a winter sport played on iced tracks. The team meets an accident in the finals and the sled crashes. The Jamaicans carry their sled on their shoulders to the finish line. The feeling of pride overwhelms every spectator irrespective of nationality. I could hardly breathe during the scene. Few defeats become greater than victories because of the grace of the human beings involved. I think, such are the moments which give meaning to our existence.
Not giving up, burning midnight oil for fulfilment of dreams, believing when nobody believes and most of all, doing all this with grace makes life extraordinary. The prayer is only for such grace when times are the toughest.
Again I can’t resist the temptation to quote W. E. Henley,
"Beyond this place of wrath and tears, Looms but the horror of the shade;
And yet the menace of the years finds, and shall find, me unafraid".
